All 30 NBA Teams Make Their Pitch to Sign LeBron James

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    Short pitch: “We have good food and good hip-hop, and, umm, some basketball players.”

    Long pitch: “We know that when it comes to the finer things in life you’ve developed a refined taste, but we also know you still find comfort in life’s simple pleasures. In Atlanta, we’re less about fine wine and Cubans and more about biscuits and gravy, and damn do we do it well.

    “We also know you love music. You’ve spent the entirety of your career playing in cities where Machine Gun Kelly and Rick Ross were among the best the region had to offer. In Atlanta, we have big hitters such as Future, 21 Savage and Migos, not to mention the classics: OutKast, Jeezy, T.I. and about a thousand more.

    “Oh, you want to know more about our roster? Well, crap…”